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Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Bad News Take 2

You might remember on Monday I talked about having good and bad news.  Yes?  Maybe? Hopefully.  ;)

Well since my good news story was so long, I postponed my bad news for another day.  That day is today.

I may or may not have just taken a deep breath..  Alright.  Here we go.


Last month I talked about not getting into my first choice school for this upcoming school year, and how I was waiting to hear back from my second choice school.

Can you tell where this is going?

Yeah.  I didn't get into that second choice school.  Which happened to be my only second choice.  Sso, for the first time in my entire life, I won't be in school this coming fall.  It may sound kind of cheesy, but I honestly feel lost about what I'm supposed to do.  I mean, since I was 3 or 4 (preschool age), school has been the majority of my identity.  Being a student has been the majority of my identity.  And after next month it won't be.

I'm also incredibly frustrated because it's now going to take  six years (instead of five; I spent three years at my JC) to get a four year degree.

People keep telling me I'm "being led on a different path"and "something better will come along"  but I can't help but remain angry.  At life, the world.. For all the hard work I've put in, it refuses to cut me a break.

The other thing I'm angry about is the college school system.  In high school you're told that you should go to a JC first because you'll have a better chance of getting into a four-year university.  Well, I was told wrong.  As of next month I'll have an AA in Psychology, which means all my underdivision work for a BA has been done.  Which was supposed to be my ticket into a four-year school.  But no.  So, I spent the last three years of my life because of a decision that was based on incorrect information.  Can you imagine how I feel now?  Frustrated.  Angry.  Confused.  Hopeless.  Especially when you take into account that when I apply this fall again to four-year schools, who's to say I'll even get in, with what happened this year?  My transcripts and degree will be exactly the same as my application six months ago.  What then?

~

For now, I'm planning on working full time after I graduate (38 days away!  Is this real life?!) to save up some money to move out and find a place of my own, at least until next fall (2014), assuming I'll be leaving for school then.  The upside to all this is that without class and five page english papers and 10 minute speeches to do, I'll have so much more time to devote to this blog!  Which I am definitely excited about.  :)

I cannot even imagine how stress-free my life is going to be after next month without school.  
I'm almost happy about this whole thing.

7 comments:

  1. i've taken a semester off. it's really amazing how terrified i was at the beginning, but now it's not that bad. so i totally understand how you feel because it's going to take me another year to graduate as well. just hang in there :)

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  2. I don't have too much experience in this field, but I understand the agita of the unknown. I like the positive outlook towards the end - keep dreaming.

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    1. Please note, that was dreaming like - reaching for the stars. Not like... dreaming, in your dreams. Sigh. You probably knew that. I just wanted to clarify. xo

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  3. Im sorry girly the good news is tho that you are totally adorable and so is your blog!

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  4. It's totally normal to feel angry about that. My advice? Let yourself feel it. Then, when you feel ready, take a deep breath in, and then let it out - along with the anger, the resentment... everything you're feeling. Choose to move past it.

    I truly believe that something bigger (and better) is happening behind the scenes that you're not even aware of. And I know it can sound cliche, but those amazing things will come, if you make the space (through letting go) and let yourself open up for them.

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  5. Good luck!
    God Bless!
    www.rsrue.blogspot.com

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  6. Best of luck to you. Sometimes when you get this kind of bad news, it's really because something better out there is waiting for you.

    Jillian - http://epic-thread.blogspot.com

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