Bad News Take 2

You might remember on Monday I talked about having good and bad news.  Yes?  Maybe? Hopefully.  ;)

Well since my good news story was so long, I postponed my bad news for another day.  That day is today.

I may or may not have just taken a deep breath..  Alright.  Here we go.

Last month I talked about not getting into my first choice school for this upcoming school year, and how I was waiting to hear back from my second choice school.

Can you tell where this is going?

Yeah.  I didn't get into that second choice school.  Which happened to be my only second choice.  Sso, for the first time in my entire life, I won't be in school this coming fall.  It may sound kind of cheesy, but I honestly feel lost about what I'm supposed to do.  I mean, since I was 3 or 4 (preschool age), school has been the majority of my identity.  Being a student has been the majority of my identity.  And after next month it won't be.

I'm also incredibly frustrated because it's now going to take  six years (instead of five; I spent three years at my JC) to get a four year degree.

People keep telling me I'm "being led on a different path"and "something better will come along"  but I can't help but remain angry.  At life, the world.. For all the hard work I've put in, it refuses to cut me a break.

The other thing I'm angry about is the college school system.  In high school you're told that you should go to a JC first because you'll have a better chance of getting into a four-year university.  Well, I was told wrong.  As of next month I'll have an AA in Psychology, which means all my underdivision work for a BA has been done.  Which was supposed to be my ticket into a four-year school.  But no.  So, I spent the last three years of my life because of a decision that was based on incorrect information.  Can you imagine how I feel now?  Frustrated.  Angry.  Confused.  Hopeless.  Especially when you take into account that when I apply this fall again to four-year schools, who's to say I'll even get in, with what happened this year?  My transcripts and degree will be exactly the same as my application six months ago.  What then?

~

For now, I'm planning on working full time after I graduate (38 days away!  Is this real life?!) to save up some money to move out and find a place of my own, at least until next fall (2014), assuming I'll be leaving for school then.  The upside to all this is that without class and five page english papers and 10 minute speeches to do, I'll have so much more time to devote to this blog!  Which I am definitely excited about.  :)

I cannot even imagine how stress-free my life is going to be after next month without school.  

I'm almost happy about this whole thing.

Good News and Bad News

Today I come bearing bad news.  Really bad news.  But also really good news.  Which do you wanna hear first??

Good?

Bad?

Good it is.  Unfortunately... I did not win the lottery.  That's not my good news.  I know you were wondering!

This past Saturday, I attended a management workshop at Jamba HQ (Emeryville, CA if you were wondering) as the last step of my assistant GM training (three cheers for being finally done!).  Well afterward I decided to hop on down to the Jamba down the street for a celebratory smoothie - I mean come on, what else would I do? It's appropriate right?  So I got my smoothie and after a few pictures of the awesome patio chairs they had, I headed on home, which is across the SF bay from Emeryville; a 45+ minute drive.

I had been inside my house for no more than five minutes when my dad called, asking, "Do you have your wallet?"

And I said, "Yeah, why?"  While on the phone, I walked over to where I'd dropped my purse on the dining table and rummaged through it.  No wallet.

Ohhhhh crap.  Inside it was my ID, cash, credit/debit cards, my health insurance card, car insurance info, and all of my CPR/Lifeguarding certifications.

On the phone, my dad says, "Because I just got off the phone with Mom [my dad's mom] and she has it."  My grandmother lives in Berkeley, a city neighboring Emeryville.

Turns out, my wallet fell out of my purse in the parking lot somewhere between the Jamba I went to and the car.  Who knows how long later, a girl my age and her mom came across it in the parking lot, and the girl, upon opening it and seeing my ID says, "Mom, we gotta get this back to this girl.  She's even my age!  We gotta help her out."  She didn't turn it in to the security cop patrolling the parking lot, or the nearest business, or even the police; she knew probably nothing would come of it, and that I'd probably never get it back.

Instead, she went through my wallet, trying to find something to point in a direction of where she could find me. My address was on my ID, but she didn't know if that was current or not.  No "call if.." phone number (stupid me).  What she found was a check from my grandmother, given to me as a birthday present, which I'd deposited weeks ago but had yet to tear up.  There was an address on the check.

She and her mom drove from Emeryville to Berkeley, thinking, Oh, she's probably in college and her mom's just helping her out with lending her some money.  It was easy to assume because my grandmother and I share the same last name.  So, they drove to the address on the check and pulled up in front of a convelescence home.  The girl is like, "Oh, this is her grandmother's address!"  So she goes inside and gives the receptionist my grandmother's name; asks to see her.  She presents my grandmother with my wallet and they visit for a while before the girl left her address and phone number for me, and went home.

A few hours later, I was back in Berkeley picking up my wallet, and after hearing my grandmother recount the story of what happened, I picked up my phone to call this girl.  Hell no was I writing this chick a thank you note, that would take weeks!  I was like, I gotta call and thank her right now.  

This girl is one of the coolest people I've ever known, and I haven't even met her!  Hell, I don't even know what she looks like.  I tried to thank her in our conversation like three times, but all she kept saying was, "it's my pleasure, girl.  Totally my pleasure."  

Then she said, "I just wanted to prove a point, that there are still honest people out there who would do the right thing."

Let me tell you, we need more people like this in the world.

Here's the most awesome, amazing part of the story.  You thought it was legit up till now?  It gets better.

I've done things like this for other people in the past, and if you don't believe in karma, this is proof:  what goes around, comes around.  True story bro.

~

Well since that story was so long, I think I'll just postpone my bad news until tomorrow.  Don't worry, I don't have terminal cancer, and my dog didn't die.  You can let go of that breath you've been holding.

Do you have any amazing and touching stories like this??  I'd love to hear them!   xx

p.s.  this girl is getting the most awesome gift bag I can dream up!, courtesy of A String of Purls.   :)

Pink Warmth

scarf, jacket, & skirt | forever 21

Just cause I love y'all so much, I went out last night to take these pictures, even though the sun had already gone down and after being at school for seven hours I just wanted to make a drink and put my feet up.  But I didn't.  Because I know how important your outfit post reads are to you.

Also, I'm madly in love with this skirt (madly) and wanted to broadcast it across the interwebs.

But mostly because I love you.

Seriously though, what is not to love about this skirt?  It's pink, pink ombré at that!, and it's a high-low skirt.  Nothing is not to love about it, that's what.  I got it last week on my Forever 21 spring spree, and have been itching to wear it since.  Rainstorms and windy days had kind of thrown a wrench in my plans though, so yesterday was the soonest big reveal day.  Let me tell you, after months of wearing jeans and dress/tight combos, wearing a skirt on a cloudless, sunny, 65º day was heaven.

Also for funsies, I included a "then and now" picture, taken 5.5 years apart.  And because I know it's going to be your very first thought when you see it, that's not my hair.  I'm standing in front of a hanging plant.  So don't freak out, cause I know you'll want to.  

Have you broken out any skirts for spring yet?  I'm biting at the bit for summer and more of these warm outfits!   xx

ps.  if you're wondering, still no word from ucsc; I'm checking religiously, and I'll mention it as soon as I hear anything!

currently listening to..// Good Girl - Carrie Underwood

Never Have I Ever

Man, does this take me back to my swim team days as a kid... I haven't played this game since then!

I'm writing this today as part of the link up being hosted on Whitney's blog, so yay!  Here we go.

Never have I ever...

1. //  Been outside of North America.  (Shout out to Canada!)

2. //  Gotten a ticket.  None.  Of any kind.  (knock on wood!)  This includes parking tickets.  Not even a speck of dust on my four-year-long licensed driving record!

3. //  Burned a book.  I have about 300 to my name, at last count.  & Fun fact: I started teaching myself to read when I was 3!

4. //  Eaten lobster or crab.  I was a vegetarian for 3 years and I've been pescatarian for 1.5 (consecutively), but even before that, I refused to eat them.  It's just something about actually seeing them swimming around before you boil them, and then actually being there to boil them...  I'm 21 years old and that thought has yet to not send chills down my spine.

5. //  Had anything pierced besides my earlobes.  I really wanted to do my cartilage when I was 18, but after the way my doubles hurt when I had them pierced, I decided against it.  I have a low pain tolerance so considering a needle going through pure fat hurt, I was not about to do it through cartilage!

6. //  Driven a stick shift.  I've wanted to learn for a long time but never knew anyone that had a manual car (besides my grandmother's VW bug from the 70s) - until recently, when my dad traded his automatic VW in for a manual!  So hopefully this will be omitted from the list in the near future.

7. //  Broken a bone.  I always kinda wanted to though, growing up.  Lord knows why, but I was obsessed with wanting to wear a cast.  We had a sling in the house and I remember wearing it around just for kicks.  Even in public.  When I was perfectly fine.  I guess it kinda goes along with the way I pined after braces.  (not so much after having them for five years!)

And my mom swears she never dropped me as a baby.

8. //  Lived somewhere other than the house I grew up in.  Yep....  Sad day.

9. //  Driven faster than 90 mph.  I think the fastest I've ever gone is 87.  Yay for the backroads in the dead of night!

10. //  Been able to do the splits.  Yikes.. this speaks for itself!

If you write a 'never have I ever' post, leave a link in the comments so I can check it out, and also at Whitney's link up!   :)

xx

Matchy Matchy

sweater, belt, necklace, & shoes | forever 21   jeans | the gap

If we got down to it, I am not a girly girl.  I own cowboy boots, am obsessed with horses and know how to drive a manual four-wheeler.  I'm more comfortable with my hair like this and in jeans than anything else.  Yes, I'm a girl and love to look pretty, but I'm not a stereotypical girly-girl.

But when it comes to coral (a shade of pink), I am obsessed.  When I found this sweater and shoes at Forever 21 yesterday, I about died.  First off because they was coral, and second because they never have shoes in my size (10... ugh. being tall sucks).  And believe me when I say never.  These are also now my only flat shoes in my closet that are not sandals.  Sad, I know.  I've taken to wearing my non-slip, unnattractive, black work shoes at non-work places just to get out of wearing 3" heels, since it's still too cold for sandals.  So, major breakthrough here!  Three cheers for flat shoes, I'll tell you that.

I forgot to mention in my post yesterday - I took myself on a movie date yesterday (first time ever!  Can I get a 'hell yeah!'?) in the middle of the day to see The Host - do you know it?  It was published by Stephanie Meyer in 2008 (the only non-Twilight book she's written), and it was given to me as a Christmas present that year.  To say I devoured it is an understatement.  That woman knows how to write a good book!  Good enough that even then, I knew it was going to be turned into a movie someday.  Lo and behold, four years later, I catch wind of its March 2013 release, and FREAK OUT.  As a lifelong bookworm, I have extremely high standards when it comes to book adaptations, and I've been disappointed by them in the past, so I was skeptical of this movie.

But this.

I was blown away.  Every character, set, and conversation was portrayed exactly the way Stephanie had put in my head.  I'm still in awe.

So if you haven't seen it yet, do.  But the book has to come first.  Just trust me.  It does.

Have you seen it yet?  If so, what did you think?  Did you like the book or movie better?   xx

currently listening to..//  Your Man - Josh Turner

Pretty in Pastel

dress, belt, shoes, jacket, and bows | forever 21   bag | the gap  sunglasses | street vendor

I just have to start this off by saying, you guys are the BEST.  Seriously though, the amount of support and love I got from my last post was overwhelming and I am so grateful to you for it!  Sometimes I wonder if blogging is still worth it, and times like these definitely reaffirm my belief that it is.  Just from your comments alone, I've already gained so much confidence about the bumper sticker - so, again.  You girls rock.  <3

Alright sssoo.  Confession.  I bought $130 worth of clothes today at Forever 21.  Don't judge.  I know it's tempting.  ;)  With a brand-spanking-new pay raise, what would you have done??  This girl badly needed a spring wardrobe update.  This dress, belt, bows, and shoes are some of what I got today, along with a few knit sweaters, a pink ombré skirt, and some new workout capris!  Good lord, I have been meaning to get a pair of those babies for months now.  I dunno about you, but going to the gym at night in spandex track shorts is not pleasant.  I don't know if you've noticed, but I've got some long legs, and when 90% of them are bare at night.... Cold.  To say the least.  Hence my excitement over capris! It's an improvement. I'll get to pants. Eventually.

So.  Back to the shopping spree.  Apparently spring has already happened because the entire store was covered with pastel and neon colors.  With all the pouring rain that happened yesterday, I didn't realize spring was even a thing anymore.  California, why do you have to be so bipolar!?  Ah, well.  Such is life.   xx

^ if you look closely, I'm not holding/touching my dress in any way.  the beauty of photo magic!  ;)

currently listening to..// A Little Bit Stronger - Sara Evans

Becoming political

Let's start this off by saying:  I don't broadcast my political views in any way.  I don't share poitical memes on Facebook or hang posters in my room.  With that being said, here goes.

I bought my first political bumper sticker two weeks ago.  Suffice it to say, it's really an important issue to me.

I'm not a crazy feminist, who shuns all men and wants women to stand alone at the top.  No.  Not like that.  I'm just a regular old run-of-the-mill feminist, who believes that the government should trust that a woman knows what's right for her own body.  I don't believe in any way that the government should dictate what we should or should not be allowed to do to ourselves.  Who's with me??

This is not just about abortion, but all reproductive rights, like this (doctors withholding information from pregnant patients), and this (forcing women to undergo an unnecessary and traumatizing transvaginal ultrasound) - and you can't forget the abortion law North Dakota adopted last week that bans all abortions once a hearbeat can be detected in a fetus, which is as early as six weeks!  I mean, really?  Some women don't even know they're pregnant by then! Right now it's legal to have an abortion up to week 20-24, depending on which state you're in.  (this ND bill is scheduled to go into effect on August 1st, so hopefully it gets knocked down by protestors before then)

I'm not trying to preach anything here, I just want to illustrate how outlandish these ideas are, so you're as informed as possible.

I found this in a small little clothing botique downtown, among other odds and ends on display, and even though I knew this was an important issue to me, and I wanted others to be aware of it, I still found myself standing there.  Hesitating.  Wondering if I really wanted to put this on my car and broadcast my views on such a touchy subject.  Wondering what others would think of me if I did.

Then I realized, I'm letting the potential opinions of others silence my desire to make them aware of an important topic?  Luckily I came to my senses about how dumb I was being and bought the sticker.  I went home and slapped it on my rear window.  

I still feel extremely vulnerable and self-concious driving around with this on my car, especially when my family and friends closest to me noticed it for the first time.  Hello, insecurities!  I mean, I was even trying to shield their view of it with my body because I was so afraid of what they would think of me, broadcasting my views like this.

Like I said: dumb!  

A few days after I bought the sticker, I saw this image on Facebook and couldn't believe how perfectly it applied to me.  I realized that what others may or may not think of me doesn't change my views on this topic, so why should I let them bother me?  Answer: I shouldn't.  Revelation accomplished!

Where do you stand with advertising your political standings?   xx

My 21st birthday!

I'm guest posting for Laura today about the fabulous time I had on Tuesday, my 21st birthday!

Go check it out for a detailed account of my day.  :)   xx

outfit post // 21st birthday edition !

dress | earthsong   jacket | forever 21   flats | nine west

As you're reading this, I'll probably be out barhopping (or maybe already have, for my abroad, time-zones-ahead readers!)  to celebrate my 21st birthday!  This here is my birthday outfit, and I made sure to snap these pictures while it was still light out tonight because it's probably going to be the only chance I'll have for a few days.  I've got 3 birthday dinners to go to this week!  What can I say, folks love a good party, especially when the birthday girl can drink.

I was tooling around downtown last week after picking up some birthday yarn (a girl's gotta treat herself sometime, right?!), and decided to stop into a cute little hippie-ish botique that I've passed a million times and always wanted to go in, but never did.  I didn't have anything on my agenda that afternoon so I thought to myself, Heck, why not?  Within five minutes of clicking hangers together on the racks, I spotted this beauty of a dress.  There was only a large and a small, so I grabbed the large and tried it on.  Too big.  Put it back and tried on the small.  Too tiny.  

Do you see the dilemma here??!  I could NOT let this dress slip through my hands because I knew it was THE dress of all the birthday dresses.  (scroll down to the bottom. you'll see.  it was THE birthday dress.)  So I marched on up to the counter and as politely as possible demanded to know if there was a medium in this birthday dress I just had to have and if so could I buy it??

Since I'm wearing the right size dress, you can guess what they said.  :)  Since it was for my 21st birthday, and since it was the most perfect dress ever, they made a special exception to fly it in from San Francisco.  Not really.  But that's what I like to tell myself.

In other news.... I was pleasantly surprised a little bit ago to notice this on my screen - I put it into my phone's calendar months ago, and completely forgot!  Kind of a nice reminder.  ;)

I also have really big news!!  You are now looking at Jamba Juice's newest shift manager!  (also known as an assistant general manager)  I am so ecstatic beyond words for my promotion to be official (as of today!).  Even sweeter is that I am not only gettting a $1 raise like I expected, but I'm getting a $2 raise!  Not gonna lie, I did a little happy dance that involved some jumping around.  Maybe just a little bit.  Talk about the best birthday present EVER!  

It is now 10:30 pm and only a mere 90 minutes remains before the clock chimes at midnight to usher me into my 21st  year.  Here's to it!   xx

hurting.

unknown source//

I've been thinking a lot about writing this post - if I even wanted to publish it or not.  It's hard to put your most guarded emotions and thoughts into a blogpost and hit 'publish' for the rest of the world to see.  But at the same time, I'm not peppy/bubbly/happy all of the time, and I owe it to you to let you see all of me, which includes the less-than-cheerful sides.  So here we go.

A few weeks ago I found out that I wasn't accepted to Cal Poly State University at San Luis Obispo, my ultimate #1 choice.  I was positive I'd get in, and almost didn't apply to UCSC (University of California at Santa Cruz, for those not in the area), my "Plan B", because I was so sure of my admission.  The reason for that being that I'm going to be a junior transfer student, who has done all of her underdivision work for a specific major, and will be transferring with an AA in that major.  I thought that would seal the deal.  Nope.

I had been checking my Cal Poly account daily for news, and as soon as I saw "you have not been selected for admission" my heart practically stopped, and I burst into tears.  I cried for an hour straight.  I know you're probably thinking, "Well, it's just a school.  Go to a different one."  It wasn't just the school.  In that one, single moment, I watched the future I had dreamed of for months go spiraling down the drain.  I fell in love with the town of SLO when I was there last March, and couldn't wait to live there.  Jamba Juice was also founded there and I had planned on transferring down to work at the original location (I work for them and have for 16 months!).  It may seem kind of silly to hear this, but I love my company in its entirety and it meant so much to me to work at the original store.  And now I won't.

It's really tough to realize that you have no idea where your life is going to be in six months, when you had just had it all planned out last week.  To have your future ripped out of your hands like that.  But it's also an opportunity to learn to pick yourself up and try to convince yourself that it wasn't meant to be.  'Try' being the keyword.  I'm still struggling immensely with trying to accept that I wasn't meant to be at Cal Poly.  I don't believe in any higher power (I've been to church a whopping two times! both as a child at that), but I do believe that things happen for a reason.  What reason that is, I have no idea right now.  But hopefully it'll become apparent soon.

This quote is really helping me, so I thought I'd share it in case you needed to hear it too:  "The important thing is not to be bitter about life's disappointments, but to let go of the past.  And recognize that every day won't be something.  And when you find yourself lost in darkness and despair... remember it's only in the black of night that you see the stars, and those stars will lead you back home.  Maybe you'll get everything you wish for, maybe you'll get more than you could ever imagine.  Who knows where life will take you.  The road is long, and in the end, the journey is the destination."

If you're still reading, thank you - for listening.   xx

P.S.  I'm still waiting to hear from UCSC.  Fingers ultimately crossed for that because if I don't get in, I won't be going to school in the fall.  :/

My hair's saga

That's right.  My hair has its own saga.  You can be jealous.

In these quick and easy steps I'm going to explain to you why it took six full hours to change the color of my hair!  Crazy, I know.  I'm going to save you that pain though and spill all in only two minutes.  Ready go!

A week or two ago I tried dying my hair a bright, coppery red.  Didn't work.  The result is what you see in the first picture, so my mom offered to treat me to professional color for my birthday (which is in FIVE DAYS if anyone was wondering.  21 here I come!).

1. //  This is the hair I went into the appointment with.  A dark reddish brown.

2. //  6 strand tests were done on my hair, two of which you can see here (red and coppery).

3. //  My hair was lightened.  This was the biggest problem we faced.  Since it was chemically straightened two months ago, high volumes of bleach would damage and/or break my hair, so it was lightened with a mild amount of peroxide/bleach mixed into shampoo.

4. //  Finally matched color to the picture I brought in (the box of color I'd originally tried to dye it) and it was put on my hair!

Six hours for all of that.  And now for what you've all been waiting for, on the edge of your seats, no doubt:  my new hair!  For your viewing pleasure, two 'after' pictures are included: the first picture was taken under fog, and the second under sunlight. 

Yep, I was Ariel in a past life.  Except for my roots, which are a bit bright, this (the first picture) is pretty much my natural hair color, that I had when I was a youngin'.  Also for your viewing pleasure is a comparison of my hair - pictures taken 360 days apart!  Sometimes I feel like my hair never grows, and that it's still so short, but then I saw this and now I feel like Rapunzel!  Ha, not really.  You know what I mean!  I'm thrilled to say that I am finally, and completely, in love with my hair.  It's long, straight, red, and bangin'!  Pun intended.  (pun about my bangs, if you're still confused)  I literally never, ever, EVER thought the day would come when I was in love with my hair.  As they say, there is a first for everything!  True story bro.

How do you feel about your hair?  Love, hate, or both?   xx

currently listening to..// Feel That Fire - Dierks Bentley

Avoiding the heat by.. waiting for a tow?

For dramatical purposes, as we speak I am waiting at Starbucks for a tow truck.

Yep.  Right now.  This very instant.  Well, probably (hopefully) not this instant as you read it, but you know.

This is supposed to be my trying-to-look-worried-and-anxious face.

But let's face it.  I'm not that worried or anxious at all.  I only said that because I think that's how people normally react in these kinds of situations.  Mostly it's just garnering me some pretty weird looks from the people sitting nearby.  They must think I'm certifiably crazy holding that expression.  Sitting all by myself.  Staring at my laptop.  Maybe I should carry a sign.  "It's okay.  I do this for a living" or "Don't worry, I'm a blogger."

Yeah.  That would do it.

Well since I now have your rapt attention, as you are no doubtedly waiting for my explanation as to why I need my car towed, you are about to be met with a very anti-climactic story.

I was driving along to Starbucks this morning, you know, for my morning coffee, and after I left (coffee in hand), I walked back to my car and started it up.  No problem.  I was even running a little early for my 9 AM bio class.  Which never happens, by the way.  Never.

But then.  Oh, but then.  My car refused to move out of park.  A small child plopping itself on the ground at a grocery store with crossed arms and a frown on its face comes to mind.  This was a similar experience.  My car being the child, if you didn't catch that.

She (my car - her name is Abbey if you were wondering. You probably weren't. Oh well) sat in the Starbucks parking lot from 9 AM until 5:30 PM when we finally got her onto the truck.  I wasn't waiting for the tow that whole time, mind you!  I was in class for most of the day, and luckily the school is (relatively) right next to the Starbucks I visited.

So, that is why I am here waiting for a tow truck; for the first time in my life, at that.  Should we celebrate?  My tow-cherry has been popped.  Maybe some champagne?

And that, my friends, is my exciting story for the day.  Hopefully yours wasn't this crazy!   xx

Easy breezing.

top & jacket | forever 21   boots | madden girl   hat | my own creation!

I was originally at this location to shoot my most recent knit items (a post on that soon!) for the application I'm working on for my first craft show (eeek!), and on my walk to this bridge I realized, Hey, this is an awesome opportunity for an outfit shoot too!  So here we are.

  

Let me just say for the record: the best part of shooting outdoors (and for those of you in the area, Petaluma) is the natural wind machine you get.  This city is notoriously windy, and it worked fabulously to my advantage - I can't wait to show you the Etsy photos!  Also going to say for the record: you'll be able to see in a moment (or maybe you already have, if you're one of those jump-around-the-page-read-the-text-last kind of people) that I had a LOT of fun with this shoot.  Maybe it was just nice to get away from my usual front yard spot.  :)

  

It's been almost a full year (just about 50 weeks) since I've worn this shirt, and as I stood in front of my wardrobe this morning, wondering to it what I wanted to wear, on a whim I pulled it out and instantly paired it with this jacket.  

BAM.  An outfit was born.  Just like that.

That's all I have for today, folks.  I know.  You wanted a dog and pony show, glitter and flaming wands and everything.  Well, we can't always have everything.  Better you learned that now.   ;)  Take your Tuesday easy.   xx

currently listening to..//  Better Dig Two - The Band Perry